Till Death Do Us Part?

Consider this, what if we get married and death does not do us part but rather in death we will never part? With the divorce rate in the U.S. today reaching 40% of all marriages the concept of everlasting love is difficult to grasp.

We live in a culture of instant gratification filled with instant messages, internet, and emails. If something goes wrong or breaks, we simply replace without wasting a single thought on the matter, as Time is Money! Have we lost our selves in the new and the shiny and forgotten the tried and true?

Often times I think of my beloved old teddy bear (sadly I've lost him during the move to NYC). If you had the chance to meet teddy, you would wonder why I am so attached to this mangled ball of fur. Why not just get a new bear you ask? Yes, I suppose I can and the new bear would serve the same purpose just as well as the old. The excitement of choosing a new bear, a white furry one, a brown curly one, a small little meek looking one, a sunshine bear, a sleepy time bear, or whatever bear that's out on the market seems fun. Except the little patch of missing fur on old teddy's belly that brings a snicker or two from others carries many years of good memories that are part of me. Perhaps "real" relationship, "real" love comes with time and two hearts can truly beat as one. If I had changed my teddy as soon as the first little chunk of fur was rubbed off, then we would not have been able to share in all those beautiful moments.

Interesting enough there is a condition known as broken heart syndrome or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy where the heart is suddenly and temporary weakened by emotional stress not unlike the stress we experience when loosing a loved one. Physiologically, I suppose when emotions run high so do the levels of catecholamines which has been speculated to cause heart failure. This could conceivably be the reason why spouses die close together during old age. As a hopeless romantic, it is entirely possible that the pain of not being able to see the scar on his hand where he accidentally cut himself while he battle the great big one on a fishing trip, hear the funny jaw click he has when chewing his food at dinner, watching his lips curl up into a smirk during a sweet dream, or the feelings you get while you rush home to share all about the excitement of the day to this soul mate is just too much to bear.

Although I have not looked into the validity of Dr. Rollin McCraty's research study, still it is interesting to ponder on the idea raised. Dr. McCraty found that long time couple's heart rhythms falls into sync (meaning they rise and fall at the same time as shown in their EKGs) while they slept side by side. So, does this mean our hearts really do end up beating as one? And when our soul mate passes, will we indeed die of a broken heart?

Luckily, I'm proud to say I will not be suffering such fate any time soon as it takes a lifetime to cultivate such enviable closeness. In the meantime, let me get back to my instant text messages, enjoy a hot cup of instant Ramen noodles, and find the fleeting comfort through my "instant life style" in this high paced world of ours!