"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind"-Albert Einstein

Every now and again the question of mortality pops into my consciousness.  It is inevitable where there's life there must also be death.

Met a remarkably brave young women today diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.  Our brief 30 minutes conversation left me with the sense of astonishment.  As our visit came to an end and despite all that she must be going through, she said with a smile "There are no worst case scenario!  I will either go home to my loved ones or to my father and creator."  It is comforting to know this amazing lady's faith is strong enough to carry her through the darkest of times and bring her peace.

Is there really life after death?  Is there really this so called God?  Or do we simply "expire" according to medicine?  These questions have haunted me since childhood.  My first memories regarding these thoughts came as I was lying on my mother's lap at the age of 6, dosing in and out of sleep.  I wondered what would happen to me if I simply fell asleep and never to wake again.  That thought scared me tremendously but also left me restless.  Scared of the unknown, of the speculation, of the leap of faith.  I was restless to know more, to get to the bottom of it all, to find the truth.

Perhaps it all comes down to rather or not I believed in creationism or evolution and the big bang theory.  If only it was so easy, so black and white.  The more I dig, the more confused, the more questions arise.

On a small dock somewhere in Maine countless summers ago, someone very wise once told me, "don't worry, think of it this way.  The law of conservation of energy state that energy can neither be created nor destroyed.  It can only change forms!"  But what about the Big Bang Theory, if energy can be neither created nor destroyed then what was the energy source that started the Big Bang? My small little brain cannot begin to conceive such a colossal question.

Now, if I look at it through a different angle, maybe our whole existence were created by some God or A God (whatever religion you prefer, that's the God I'm talking about).  we were created in such a perfect intricate package, POOF, just like that!  What am I to base this belief on?  The words of many passed down from generation to generation?  As humans, we are fallible.  I don't know about you, but I sometimes can't even remember where the heck I put my keys, or what I ate for breakfast, or simply what I said just seconds ago.  So, how am I to trust stories passed down from centuries past, which essentially say, "Trust me, we are the truth" without proof?  I am painfully aware of the fact that human history is written by the victors.

I suppose, these questions of mine should be left for the likes of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, and Nietzsche.  Quoting Oscar Wilde, "I'm not young enough to know EVERYTHING!"

What I do know is, no matter what this "truth" might be, as it stands now, there's only a limited time available to enjoy our time together with the people we love.  On that note, I'm going to excuse myself now so I may go and cuddle Mimi and Christian, the reasons for my existence.

Side note: I visited "heaven" again tonight! I simply can't get enough! :-)